Stupid Feeling Rewrite
by amiundone
Summary: Johnny got out of the church just in time. He went to court and got off with a month in jail. Ponyboy goes to see him every day. They’d get an hour a day to talk. What happens when Ponyboy falls in love with his best friend? R
1. Three Weeks Ago

Stupid Feeling 

(Rewrite) 

Ponyboy Curtis/ Johnny Cade

(Slash) 

Ponyboy Curtis's P.O.V

Summary 

Johnny got out of the church just in time. He went to court and got off with a month in jail. Ponyboy goes to see him every day. They'd get an hour a day to talk. What happens when Ponyboy falls in love with his best friend? R&R

Chapter One 

Three Weeks Ago 

I sat at a small wood table with Two-Bit, Dally, and Johnny. At the table beside us were Marcia, Cherry, and Randy. 

Every chance I got I gave her a dirty look. I knew she didn't really care about the Greaser and I was pretty sure they didn't have the same, if not worse, problems as us. 

The judge started with the Socs then me. She smiled down to me. "Ponyboy Michael Curtis. What an original name."

"Yeah… My dad… He really liked it." I told her, nervously.

"And you have two brothers? Sodapop Patrick Curtis and Darrel Shaynne Curtis?" She asked, looking at some papers like she didn't know. 

"Yeah." I answered looking to my brothers. 

They both gave me an encouraging smile. 

"Now why is it Darrel doesn't have an original name like you and your brother?" She asked. 

"Darry has dad's name. His full name is Darrel Shaynne Curtis Jr." I answered her quickly. 

"Would you say Darrel shows you love?" 

"Yeah. He always does." 

"Okay. Now tell me about what happened with your friend, Johnny Cade, and Robert Sheldon." The judge told me. 

I nodded and cleared my throat. "It started when we went to the movies with Dallas Winston. Dallas found Sherry Valances, attractive. So, he started trying to pick her up anyway he could think of. Sherry thought he was being rude so she was rude back. One thing lead to another and Dallas took it too far for Johnny's liking. Johnny stood up to him and Dallas left without a fight." 

"And why is that?" The judge asked, looking over to Johnny. 

"Johnny Cade is the gangs pet. That's what we call him. No one is aloud to, purposely, upset him. Johnny went through a lot more than any of us has. We all treat him with care and respect." 

"Why is Johnny Cade like that?" 

She just had to keep pressing it. "Johnny's parents are… neglecting, abusing, good for nothing…" I could hear the hate and I couldn't stop myself from telling the judge just what I thought. 

"That's enough… Ponyboy Curtis, you're done. Keith Gibe Matthews." She called. 

I walked to the table and sat beside Johnny. He put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a quick hug. "Thanks." He whispered. 

I nodded and looked to Two-Bit. 

"Keith can you start where he left off?" She asked.

Two-Bit shook his head. "No, when I got there they were all sitting together." 

"Well just start from where you remember." 

Two-Bit nodded and looked out at everyone. "I came over and started to talk to the four. Sherry and Ponyboy went to get something and at that point I was talking to Marcia as Johnny watched the movie. I really started to like her, even if she was a Soc. Anyway, we left the movies and I talked to girls into walking with us to my house so that I could get my car and drive them home. As we were walking I knew we were being followed. It was their boyfriends. Randy Anderson and Robert Sheldon. They were drunk and angry. All I could think about was helping the girls." 

"Why?" The judge asked. 

"They looked scarred. Really scarred. I hate to see broads scarred of their own boyfriends. Well, I got into a small argument with Randy. The girls decided to go with them before anything else went wrong. After that I was walking home with Ponyboy and Johnny. The next morning they were gone." 

"That will be all Keith… I suppose the only person I really need to hear from now is Johnny Cade." She said. 

Johnny shivered and walked over slowly. 

"Johnny Cade am I correct?" She asked. 

Johnny nodded and looked up to the old woman.

"Is it true that you have no middle name?" She asked. 

"Yes." He answered, looking past me to his parents. 

"Well tell me what happened? Is that all true?" She asked. 

"Yes. All of it. After Keith left us, Ponyboy and I went to a lot. We stayed there for a while and soon we both fell asleep. I woke up then hurried to wake Ponyboy. He went home and I stayed out in the lot for the night. About five minutes later Ponyboy was back and he was yelling 'Come on Johnny! We're running away!' I went with him. I had nothing to lose. We got to the end of the road and I told him that we'd take a walk around the park to cool off. He agreed and that's where we went. Soon after we got there Robert and Randy drove up with their gang of Socs. They were still drunk and mad. Him and Ponyboy got into and they jumped us. It was about eight against two. Two of them took me to the side and started beating me. When they left I looked over to Ponyboy and they were drowning him. I couldn't just sit back and watch the same guy that almost beat me to death only weeks before kill my friend. I always knew that if I saw that guy again I would kill him before he could kill another Greaser that did nothing to him. So I did. I stabbed him… and I killed him." 

"That will be all Johnny." She said. 

The judge sat there for a minute then cleared her throat. "If it were up to me Johnny Cade would go, free of any charges, but I have toy do something so I sentence Johnny Cade to four weeks in jail for manslaughter." She said beating her gable. 

I looked over to Johnny and he looked like nothing had happened. I hugged him tightly. "I'll come see you every day." I told him.

"Promise?" He asked, hugging me back. 

"Promise…" 

**Anyone who really likes the rewrite of chapter one thank HawkCade. I think this rewrite will be really good so review please. **


	2. Confession

Stupid Feeling 

Chapter Two 

Confession 

I sat in my English class and thought it over. '_This can't be real. I can't be in love with Johnny. I mean yeah he's really good looking and yeah he's always been here for me. It just isn't possible. I'm and guy and he's a guy. No. No. No. Yes… I can't believe this. I'm gay…_' 

"Mr. Curtis, are you paying attention? You can't afford to miss this lesson." My teacher, Mr. Keel asked, slamming his ruler on my desk. 

"Oh course I'm listening, sir." I said sitting up. 

He glared at me then went on teaching. 

My mind kept on wandering back to Johnny. I couldn't help it, it was out of my control. 

'_Johnny, Johnny, Johnny…_' 

"Mr. Curtis if you're going to keep day dreaming in my class go out into the hall!" Mr. Keel snapped. 

I got up and grabbed my books. I sat out on the cold floor and leaned against the brick wall.

Two-Bit walked by me and grinned. "Finally on of the goody good Curtis's got the hall." He said, sitting beside me. 

"Shut your trap Two-Bit. What'ch doin out here anyway?" I asked looked to the Greaser beside me. 

"I'm always in the hall. I just came back from the office. The teacher would rather me not come back. Why are you out here?" 

"Day dreaming." I answered with a sigh. 

"Figures." Two-Bit said ruffling my hair. 

With a sweep of my hand it was better. "Don't go off telling Darry bout this." I told him. 

"Or what?" Two-Bit asked, grinning. 

"I don't know… Just don't do it." 

"Good enough for me… How's Johnnycake anyway?" He asked. 

"He's okay… There's a lady that sometimes drops by while I'm there and talks to him about his parents. I think she's going to take him away from them." I told Two-Bit. 

"That's good. He needs to get away from them." 

"Yeah… But where will he go? What if we never see him again?" I asked feeling tears coming. 

"I don't know… I better get back to class the bell's about to ring." Two-Bit said, standing up and patting my back. 

After school I ran to the jail house like I did everyday. I got there and the man at the counter let me back. I sat down at the same table I always did when I was waiting for Johnny. I got out my English book so that Johnny could help me. He may have only gone to school for nine years, but he got stuff quickly. 

Johnny walked out in his white pants and white tank top. He was all sweaty so, I guessed he had just worked out for the day.

"Hey Ponyboy. Need help?" He asked looking down at the book. 

"Yeah. You think you could help me?" I asked pushing it over to him. 

"I will… So, how did your day go?" He asked, sitting in front of me. 

"Good." I answered smiling at him. "How bout you? How they treatin ya?"

"Better than my folks." Johnny answered smiling. 

I frowned. "Johnny… When they take you away from your parents am I ever gonna see you again?" I asked. 

"Yeah. I'll be in the orphanage. No one wants a sixteen year old killer in their house." 

"You're not a killer Johnny. You saved my life and those kid's lives." I told him like I did every day.

Johnny shook his head. "Whatever you say Pony." 

The rest of the time Johnny helped me with my English. I had to read it to him and all, but he got it. When the hour was up we stood up and hugged. 

"Pony…" Johnny whispered as we hugged. 

"What?" I asked. 

"Four more visits and I'm out." He said with a grin. 


	3. Home Movies and Cry Baby Lullabies

Stupid Feeling 

Chapter Three 

Home Movies and Cry Baby Lullabies

I walked home slowly thinking over my English homework when I came face to face with my math teacher. Any other time I would have thought she looked real good, but now that I was in love with Johnny she didn't have anything on him. 

"Hello there Ponyboy." She said, following me. 

"Hello Mrs. Patterson. Do you need something?" I asked nicely. 

"Well yes... You're friend… Jimmy…" 

"Johnny." I corrected. I never could figure out how _she_ became a teacher.

"Oh yes. Johnny. Would it be possible for you to ask him to speak to the school next week?" She asked with a hopeful look. 

I shrugged. "I can see if he's up to it." I told her.

Mrs. Patterson smiled wider and hugged me, shoving my head into her breast. 

I pushed myself away and gave her a nice smile and walked away. 

"Thank you, Ponyboy!" She yelled over to me. 

I pretended like I didn't hear her and walked faster. 

When I got home I noticed right away that Darry and Sodapop were working late. I walked in the dark living room to my room. I tossed my stuff on the bed and walked back. On my way back I stubbed my toe on a big box. 

"Damn it!" I yelled, falling back on my butt. 

I bent over and opened the box to find a bunch of tapes. I grabbed one and put it in the VCR. 

At first all I could see was Sodapop, when he was fourteen, standing with a fifteen year old Steve. 

Then the camera was put over to an eighteen year old Darry playing foot ball with Two-Bit, sixteen, and Dally, fifteen. 

Then I saw her. After about a year… Or was it two? My mother with her curly, auburn hair. She had Johnny and I by the arms, giving us both a kiss on the cheek before letting us run off with the older boys. 

I watched my, twelve year old self, run over to Darry. He picked me up and put me on his shoulders. 

Johnny stood back and watched me. He looked like he was eleven, but he was fourteen. His hair was plastered to his forehead and his skin was tanned and bruised. He looked even more fragile back then than he dos now. 

"Ponyboy! Darry come take the camera." I heard. 

Darry walked over, put me down, and took the camera. 

When he turned it around Dad was on his knees beside me. 

"This is my boy right here. He's gonna really be something." Dad said to the camera with a grin. 

"Hey, Dad, what about Soda and I?" Darry asked. 

Dad smiled and grabbed Sodapop while he was running by. 

"You two got the strength and the looks, but Pony has the brains." Dad explained letting me and Sodapop go. 

"Hey! Darry over here!" Two-Bit yelled running over to him with Dally. 

Mom walked over to Dad with Johnny at her hip. 

Johnny was like a hurt kitten to Mom and she loved him, as much as she loved the whole gang. 

Behind her, Two-Bit and Dally were whispering and snickering. 

Dally ran over and picked my mother up, scarring Johnny and her. 

"Dallas!" She yelled as he held her bridle style. 

Dally just grinned and slowly put her down. "Sorry Mrs. Curtis." 

Mother smiled and kissed him on the cheek. 

The tape ended and I looked at the blank screen for a few minutes. I slowly got up and went to the small tapes and put one in the tape player.

"Okay, Sodapop and me are gonna go put our snake, Henry, in mommy's chair." The voice of a young Darry came flooding in the room. He couldn't have been very old. Like nine or ten. 

I heard the pattering of their footsteps then it was quiet. 

"Baby mine, don't you cry. Baby mine, dry your eyes. Rest your head close to my heart. Never to part, baby of mine." I heard Mom singing. 

Darry sighed heavily, "Ponyboy's crying _again_." 

I stuck my tongue out slightly at the tape player. 

"Little one when you play. Don't you mind what you say. Let those eyes sparkle and shine. Never a tear, baby of mi- Ahhh! Darrel! Sodapop Patrick! Get in here now!" 

I heard myself begin the cry all over again. 

The tape stopped and I turned it over. 

My mother's beautiful singing voice filled the room. 

"Good evening, good night. With roses adorned,  
With carnations covered, slip under the covers.  
Early tomorrow, if God wills, you will wake once again.  
Early tomorrow, if God wills, you will wake once again.

Good evening, good night. By angels watched,  
Who show you in your dream the Christ-child's tree.  
Sleep now peacefully and sweetly, look into dream's paradise.  
Sleep now peacefully and sweetly, look into dream's paradise." 

I quickly took the tape out and tossed it away. Tears now stained my face as I looked at it. 

Then the door opened. Darry and Sodapop walked in with their eyes half opened. 

I tried to cover my face, but Sodapop saw my tears and ran over. "Pony, are you okay?" He asked putting his arm around me. 

Darry walked over to the tape on the floor and picked it up. "I was going through these last night…" 

"Why didn't you put them up?" I sobbed.

"I'm sorry Pony; I want you two to hear something." Darry told us, grabbing a tape and putting it in the player. "Mom recorded this on her last St. Patrick's Day… You might remember it…" He said as the music began. 

"Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

From glen to glen, and down the mountain side

The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying

'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.

But come you back when summer's in the meadow

Or when the valleys hushed and white with snow

'Tis I'll be there in sunshine or in shadow

Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

And if you come, when all the flowers are dying

And I am dead, as dead I well may be

You'll come and find the place where I am lying

And kneel and say an "ave" there for me.

And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me

And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be

If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me" 

I felt the fresh tears come and Darry hugged me. "You always were a cry baby…"

Darry sat us, two crying Greasers, on the couch and he put his arm around each of us. "I don't know how I ended up with _two_ cry baby brothers." He teased us with a soft soothing voice. 

"Golden slumber kiss your eyes,  
Smiles await you when you rise.  
Sleep,  
pretty baby,  
Do not cry,  
And I'll sing you a lullaby.

Care you know not,  
Therefore sleep,  
While I o'er you watch do keep.  
Sleep,  
pretty darling,  
Do not cry,  
And I will sing a lullaby." 

Darry sang quietly to us and when he finished we all started to fall asleep. 

Darry, holding us tight, and Soda and me resting on his shoulders. 

**Please no flames about Darry singing.**

"**Darry's a big mean Greaser!" let's have none of that. **


	4. A Dream and A Broad’s Tears

Stupid Feeling 

Chapter Four 

A Dream and A Broad's Tears

"Come on Pony. Time to get up." Sodapop said, waking me up. 

I was laying on the couch with a blanket over me. I got up quickly and looked up to my older brother that was ready for work. That meant I was late.

I jumped up and ran to my room. I got dressed quickly in the bathroom, trying to fix my hair at the same time. 

Darry walked by and snickered. "Ponyboy ya look a mess." He said, greasing my hair back for me as I put my pants on. 

"Darry I'm really late. Really late. Why didn't you wake me?" I asked as I slipped on my socks and shoes. 

"Sorry Pony, I just woke up a few minutes ago." He said, finishing. "Get goin." He told me. 

I ran to my room and grabbed my bag. I was out the door and running to the school five seconds later. I ran passed the jail and saw the cop Johnny's always with. 

He looked at me and ran after me. "Boy! Boy! You're a friend of Johnny Cade, am I right?" He asked. 

I turned around and nodded. "Yeah." I answered. 

He took my arm and led me inside. The place was full of criminals and cops. 

There was a criminal in cuffs starring at me, like I did something to him. 

On the other side of the room was Johnny, cuffed and bleeding. 

I ran over and looked at him. 

His eyes were wide and he was looking right through me. 

"Johnny… Johnny are you…?" I knew that look. "Johnny! Johnny! Come on!" I yelled, shaking him. 

His eyes remained glassy and cold. 

"We think he's in shock. Do you know what to do about this?" The cop asked. He didn't really care about Johnny. They just didn't want another dead Greaser to have to explain. 

I tried my best to remember my extra health class I took last year. As I did I starred at Johnny's face. 

"I really don't know what to do. I'll just sit here with him until he's better." I told the cop. 

He shrugged and walked away. 

I kneeled in front of Johnny and rubbed his shoulder softly. "Johnny… I don't know if… Never mind… I don't want to risk it." I said quietly. "Hey maybe someone in the gang will adopt you after you're out. You can still be around. I…" I stopped talking when Johnny started gasping. 

He took short choppy breaths and he grabbed my arm. "Pony! Pony! I hate you! Pony! It's your fault! I HATE YOU!" 

I woke up in the dark living room with Darry's arm around me. I gasped and grabbed him. 

"Golden slumber kiss your eyes, smiles await you when you rise…" I sang softly to myself when I couldn't get to sleep. 

I felt Darry pull me closer to him as he slept. 

That morning I got up before anyone and got read. I started breakfast when Darry got up to get ready for work. 

"Wow, Pony. You sure are in a hurry." Sodapop said when I ran to the door. 

"I just need to get some air. I'll see you guys tonight." I told them. 

I walked along the side walk, not paying any attention. I ran into someone and backed up. When I saw the short black hair I smiled. 

"Hey Marcia." I said walking beside her. 

She smiled at me. "Hey Ponyboy. How's Johnny?" She asked walking with me. 

At first I thought she was just going to run off like Cherry did. "He's okay. Marcia, how come you're walking with me?" I had to ask. 

"Because, you're my friend." She said. 

"But, I'm a Greaser and you're a Soc…" 

"I know… I'm not like Cherry if that's what you're getting at." She said, still smiling. "I don't care if you're a Greaser." 

I grinned to her. "That's tuff of you." I told her. 

"Thank you Ponyboy." 

I went through the first half of the day being questioned by teachers. They all asked me if Johnny was speaking. I had to tell them I was going to ask him that day. I didn't want to ask, but I was gonna.

At lunch time I meet up with Marcia and took her out to Two-Bit's car. 

When Two-Bit saw her he smirked. "Hey there. Now what are you doing with this Grease again? What are we going to have to do with you?" He asked, putting his arm around her shoulders. 

"So what's up with Cherry?" I asked, sliding into the back. 

Marcia sighed and blew a strand of hair out of her face. "She's out being a tramp with my ex-boyfriend. I-I'm sorry can I bother one of you for a cigarette?" She asked. 

Two-Bit gave her one and lit it. 

She took a long drag then passed it to Two-Bit, who took a drag as well. 

"So, I was going over to Randy's house. It was his birthday and I wanted to surprise him. Well, for a while all he wanted was sex and I was going to give it to him. I was going to give him me. When I got there I was too late. He'd already gotten someone…" Marcia started to tear up and Two-Bit put his arm around her. 

"Cherry…" I said quietly. 

Marcia nodded and let her tears fall. 

Two-Bit rubbed her shoulder. "Come on… It'll be okay, Babe… He was an ape face anyway. You should have better. So, don't cry over him. Cry over the kids those two might make." 

Marcia smiled at Two-Bit and hugged him. "I don't care what the other Socs say. Greaser's are the best." 

"Now don't you be goin off with other Greasers. Just stick with us." Two-Bit told her. 

After school I ran to the jail. When I got there I sat down at my table and waited for the man to go get Johnny. 

When Johnny came I smiled at him, but it faded when I remembered my dream. 

"Hey Ponyboy, how's it goin?" He asked as soon as he sat down. 

"Uhm Johnny… Do you hate me?" I asked, looking at the table. "I mean do you blame me?" 

"Blame you for what?" He asked. 

"For you being here? I mean if I hadn't of ran away you wouldn't have ran into Bob and you-" 

Johnny put his hand on my shoulder. "Ponyboy… I was going to go looking for Bob. I got here because I killed a guy. It just turns out I did it to save you." Johnny told me, smiling. 

I smiled back and looked him in the eyes. 

For a while we talked about Cherry, Marcia, and Randy then I remembered what I was had to ask him. 

"Johnny… Do you think you can come talk to my school next week?" I asked. 

Johnny sat for a minute then nodded. "Sounds tuff. I'll do it." He said, licking his lips by habit. 

Oh how I wished I could kiss him. Just jump on him and let him make me his. I couldn't do that… He was my best friend and I really didn't want to mess that up. 

I went home and took a long, cold shower. When I was done I went to my room and turned on some Elvis. I sat on the bed and looked off into space for a while. 

Sodapop came in and got some cloths to put on after his shower. He took a good look at me and grinned. 

"Who is she?" He asked jumping onto the bed beside me. 

"What are you talking about?" I asked rolling my eyes. 

"That look. Who is she? Is she a blond?" He asked.

"There is no broad." I told him. 

"Oh come on. Cherry Valance? Evie's a looker…" 

"It's no girl." I told him again. "Sodapop… Do you love me?" I asked. 

"More than anything Pony. What's wrong?" Sodapop asked putting his arm around me. 

"It's a guy. I'm in love with a guy. I'm gay." I told him. 

"That's okay Pony. No one's gonna care. We all love you. Even Steve." 

"Even if the guy I like is in the gang?" 

"Well, it might be a little weird, but we love you." He told me. "Now who?" He asked. 

"Johnny…" 

Sodapop smiled and patted me on the back. "You should tell the others." He told me as he went to the bathroom. 

I walked out into the living room when the gang was. I sat beside Darry and turned off the TV. 

They all looked at me weird. 

"What's up Pony?" Dally asked. 

"I have to tell you guys somethin…" I said. "I-I'm…" 

"Well hurry it up!" Steve said impatiently. 

"I'm gay!" 


	5. Burn Your Ass As I Adopt

Stupid Feeling

Stupid Feeling 

Chapter Five 

Burn Your Ass As I Adopt 

(**I know weir chapter title… lol**) 

Everyone's eyes were on me. I felt uncomfortable then and in my head a heard Dad yelling at me and Mom crying. 

Gay. Gay. Gay. My parents would hate me… Now the gang hates me. I shouldn't have listened to Sodapop. 

"It's okay Ponyboy." Darry said, seeing the look on my face. "We don't care that you're gay." 

"Yeah, so what if you like that kind of thing?" Two-Bit asked, shrugging. 

"The only question is, why are you gay? Who turned you gay?" Darry asked.

Poking around in everything… "I uhm… I fell in love with a guy…" I told them. 

"Who?" Dally asked. 

"Johnny…" I told him. 

"You gonna tell 'em?" Steve asked from across the room. 

"I- I don't know… He'll hate me…" I told them. 

"No, we're talking about Johnny here." Dally said rolling his eyes. 

"Johnny deserves to know, Pony. And I think you know that." Darry said, turning the TV back on. 

I sighed and went to the kitchen, grabbing a coke. I sat myself on the stove and leaned on the wall. I sat there for a while, I don't know how long, and thought about Johnny. 

Would he accept? 

Or would he stay away from me for the rest of my life, or until he gets adopted by someone in another country…

"Ponyboy, get off the stove before I burn your ass off." Darry said, starting to make dinner.

I sighed and jumped off when Darry turned the heat on high. "Darry what if Johnny doesn't like me like that way? Or what if he does and someone in… in like China adopts him?" I asked, sitting at the table.

Darry sighed and opened a cabinet under the sink. He grabbed a folder and tossed it in front of me. "You can't tell Johnny." He told me firmly. 

I nodded and looked through the papers.

(**I don't know how these things really go…**) 

First Name: Darrel 

Middle Initial: S 

Last Name: Curtis 

Age: 20 

**Type of work: **

Part Time 

Full Time 

None 

**Other Miners You Are the Guardian of: **

First Name: Sodapop 

Middle Initial: P 

Last Name: Curtis 

Age: 17

First Name: Ponyboy 

Middle Initial: M 

Last Name: Curtis

Age: 14 

**Minor You Wish to Adopt:**

First Name: Johnny 

Middle Initial: None 

Last Name: Cade 

Age: 16

I looked up from the papers and smiled. "You're gonna adopt him." I said. 

"Yep he needs to stay around his friends and we have the room for him and all." Darry explained. 

"This is so tuff. Why didn' you tell anyone." I asked. 

"I don't know. Never got around to it." Darry answered. "Now get out so I can cook." 

That night I went to bed in Sodapop's arms and tried to get to sleep. I couldn't, no matter what. So, I got up and caught the mid-night news. 

The reporters talked about a lot of stuff I didn't really care about until I saw a picture of Johnny on the screen. 

I turned the volume up. 

"Johnny Cade is being let out of jail on Friday of this week. That's three more days. Unless you've been living under a rock for the past month I'm sure you know about this brave boy, but in case you don't here's the report we did on him about a month ago." 

The screen changed and there was a big picture of Johnny. 

"Johnny Cade, a killer? Or a hero?" A voice in the background asked.

The picture changed to one of me and Johnny, before we ran away. 

"These two boys are Johnny Cade and Ponyboy Curtis. Ponyboy on the right and Johnny on the left. They saved five children from and burning church. Come to find out there was a dark reason that the two were there in the first place." 

There was now a picture of Darry, Sodapop, and I. 

"Ponyboy Curtis… His teachers told us he always made the best grades. He was pushed up a grade for all his hard work. The darkness behind the three Curtis brothers is that there parents died a year or two back. This made the oldest brother, Darrel, the keeper of the other two. He left everything behind and took his two brothers in. One day in an heated argument between him and Ponyboy he let his rage out and slapped the boy. Never being hit before, Ponyboy ran away. 

Now the brothers claim everything is back to normal and Darrel would never hit Ponyboy again." 

Another picture popped up. One I'd never seen before. It was a picture of Johnny standing with his parents. They looked like a real family. 

"Johnny Cade was the exact opposite of the other boy. He had his parents, but it wasn't better. Thanks to Ponyboy Curtis' outburst during court, we now know that Johnny Cade's parents abused him, physically and mentally. His father confessed to beating him every time he came home and his mother confessed to telling him he was good for nothing and other words of abuse. Johnny's friends told us he was always quiet and that no one upset Johnny on purpose in their 'gang' of young Greasers." 

The change of picture made me flaming mad. There was a picture of a few Socs getting their asses handed to them by a couple of Greasers. Not just and Greasers, Two-Bit and Dally. 

"Yes, I said Greaser. The hoods that go around taking things and jumping people. How could these two young boys be heroes? Well, they ran into a burning fire to save a few small children, but was that only to clear their minds of the killing that had happened only days before." 

I mind raced. I'd never seen this before so I didn't know what he was about to say. 

A picture of Cherry and Bob was now on the screen. 

"Robert Sheldon… A Soc that one night went out then the next morning was found dead in the park. He was stabbed several times. We will now show you a tap from the trial, telling why he was killed." 

I watched the screen turn to the court room I remembered. I saw everyone. Two-Bit, Johnny, Me, Dally, Cherry, Marcia, and Randy. 

Johnny was at the stand just like he'd been when I was really there. 

"…Soon after we got there Robert and Randy drove up with their gang of Socs. They were still drunk and mad. Him and Ponyboy got into and they jumped us. It was about eight against two. Two of them took me to the side and started beating me. When they left I looked over to Ponyboy and they were drowning him. I couldn't just sit back and watch the same guy that almost beat me to death only weeks before kill my friend. I always knew that if I saw that guy again I would kill him before he could kill another Greaser that did nothing to him. So I did. I stabbed him… and I killed him." 

I turned the TV off and fell asleep on the couch a few minutes later. 

I woke up to the sun light flooding the living room. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, looking to the clock. It was nine. I was really late. 

I jumped up and ran right into Two-Bit. 

He looked at me and grinned. "Darry said you didn't have to go to school today so, that you can go tell Johnny how you feel when you feel good about it." He explained. 

I watched Two-Bit get up and throw me his beer. "Well I'm off to school. See ya later." He said leaving. 

I sighed, Two-Bit was always late, even when he drove me he would just kick me out of the car and leave. 

I walked into the bathroom and took a long shower then got dressed and did my hair, for a long time. When I figured my hair had enough grease I drug myself to the jail house. 

When I got there the cop nodded to me, that show that he was going back to get Johnny. 

I went to the chair and sat down, putting my head on the table.

I felt Johnny sit down and put his hand on my shoulder. "You okay Ponyboy?" He asked 

I shivered under his hand and sat up. 

"Johnny I really have to tell you something and please don't hate me…" I said quickly. 

"What is it Ponyboy?" Johnny asked giving me a weird look. 

"Johnny, I love you." 


	6. Love Shots

Stupid Feeling

Stupid Feeling 

Chapter Six 

Love Shots 

I locked my eyes with his dark one and didn't look away. 

Johnny looked surprised, but he took my hand. 

I his other hand go to the back of my neck and he started to pull me closer to him. My cheeks felt even hotter when I felt Johnny's lips press against mine. They were so soft, yet forceful at the same time. 

He pulled away and looked around a t the empty room. 

"I- Uhhh… I've been waiting to do that for a while…" Johnny said blushing. 

I smiled, "Me too…" I told him blushing a lighter color. I couldn't help but grin. Johnny felt the same for me! 

The rest of the time we talked about what he was going to say at the school. 

"Man, I don't know what I'm going to say. I guess I'll just tell them about it and let them ask questions." He said smoking. I nodded and sighed. I hoped no one would ask him questions like, "Why are you a Greaser?" "Why are you a hood?" "What about your parents?" you know stuff like that. "Ya know Pony, when I get out I'm going to get hammered." Johnny said grinning. "They don't let you have alcohol here. I'd kill for a beer." He said putting his cigarette out. I chuckled. Johnnycake didn't drink as much as Two-Bit but he did enjoy a couple of beers a week.

After and hour I left, giving Johnny a hug. 

I ran all the way to the DX and met up with Sodapop, Steve, and Tim. 

Sodapop and Steve were sitting on top of an old truck and Tim was standing beside them. 

When I got over to them I shook Tim's hand. "Hey Tim. How's it goin?" 

"It's good, Fag." Tim said with a smirk. 

My jaw dropped and Steve jumped off the truck, taking out his switch blade. 

"Hold up there Sheared, we don't go around callin your gang members names. Don't you be comin round callin our members names." Steve said getting real angry. 

"Oh Steve, I didn't know you cared about the little butt pi-" 

Before Tim could finish, Steve had him against the truck, with the blade against his cheek. 

Sodapop grabbed Steve and pulled him off. "Tim get outa here." Soda said. 

Tim glared at Steve. "This ain't over Randle…" He said as he walked away.

Tim pushed passed me and growled. 

Sodapop rolled his eyes and put his arm around my shoulders. "How'd it go?" He asked. 

I grinned up to him. "Great, Johnny feels the same." I told him. 

"That's great. I'll take you to see Darry. He's only working a mile away." Sodapop said, grabbing Steve. 

We walked quickly over to a house they were working on. 

Instead of people working they were all standing in a group looking up to the roof. 

Darry and some other guy were up there, fighting. 

Darry was yelling and pointing to the road.

I walked over to some guy, "Hey, what's going on?" I asked him. 

The guy looked down at me, "Who wants to know?" 

"Darry's younger brother that's who!" I said, acting tough. 

"The boss got mad at some new kid for talking back." The guy said with a sigh. 

I looked up to my brother and saw the other guy roll his eyes and pull something out of his pocket. 

"Gun!" a guy on the left yelled.

Everyone fell to the ground and the man I was talking to pulled me down. 

We heard a few shots then nothing. 

I looked up and saw Sodapop running over to the ladder. He claimed up and pulled Darry up off the roof. 

I thought he was dead at the point so, I blacked out, in the other guys arms. 

JPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJP

The hospital was full of nurses and doctors running around when I came to. 

Sodapop was walking around with his hands over his head. "Steve why would he be so stupid? Why?!" Sodapop asked. 

"Sodapop he saved someone's life." Steve said looking at the ground. 

"Jumping in front of a bullet is just stupid!" Sodapop yelled, making me jump.

Sodapop sighed and leaned against the wall, looking down at his bloodstained hands. 

About an hour later, Two-Bit ran in, dragging Marcia behind him. "What happened?" He asked looking at us. 

Marcia sat beside me and put her hand on my shoulder. 

"Darry was fighting with a worker and I don't know, the next thing I know my face is in the dirt and there's a big guy on top of me. When I got up Sodapop was running to the house. When he got to the roof he picked Darry up and…" I let a tear slid down my face. My breath caught in the back of my throat. 

I stood up and looked at everybody. "I- I'm outa here." I sobbed. 

Sodapop gave me a sharp look, "You come back, ya hear. I want you to come see Darry tonight." 

I nodded and walked away. 

Marcia and Two-Bit followed me. 

"Ponyboy, where are you going? It's about to start raining." Marcia asked, grabbing my arm. 

"I'm going to the lot. You guys just…Just…" I choked on my sobs and shook my head. "This was supposed to be the happiest day of my life…" I whispered. 

Marcia pulled me into a hug and Two-Bit put his arm around me. "Johnny likes ya?" Two-Bit asked. 

I nodded and smiled. "I need him more than ever now. How tuff…" I chuckled. 

Two-Bit and Marcia walked to the jail house with me. When we got there they let me go back first. 

"Now you come get us when you're done so that we can see Johnny." Two-Bit said, sitting in on of the chairs, pulling Marcia onto his lap. 

I walked to the back and nodded to the cop. I watched him go back and get Johnny. I stood at the table and waited.

When I saw Johnny I ran over and hugged him.

He held me tight as I sobbed. 

"Darry…" I sobbed. "Darry…" 


	7. Lovely Visit with Johnny and Oliver Fuzz

Stupid Feeling

Stupid Feeling

Chapter Seven

Lovely Visit with Johnny and Oliver Fuzz

Johnny sat me down and kneeled in front of me as I told him what had happened.

"I'm real sorry Pony." He said, hugging me.

I buried my face into his chest and tried to stop crying. "T-Two-Bit and Marcia are here…" I sobbed.

Johnny pulled away from me and dried my tears. "Pony, Darry'll be fine. You know him, always fightin somethin." Johnny told me, pressing his forehead against mine.

I felt his warm breath against my mouth and I shivered. Even if we were together he drove me crazy. I dared to meet his eyes and saw dark hunger in them. It took me aback a little when I noticed the sexual tension that had always been there.

Johnny brushed his lips against my forehead and smiled at me.

Oh, he was good at holding back.

"Why don't you go ahead and get Two-Bit and Marcia?" He asked, brushing my hair out of my face.

The rest of the time we talked to Two-Bit and Marcia. They were goin together and were about to go on a date when someone called Two-Bit's house to tell him what happened.

"I don't know. This date is better than any dates with Randy…" Marcia said, with a silly grin.

Two-Bit kissed he on the cheek and put his arm around her. "Finally, a broad with class. But ya know who her dad is?"

"Who?" I asked.

"Officer William D. Oliver." Two-Bit said, making his voice deeper.

"Really? Ol' Oliver Fuzz…" Johnny said with a grin.

I smiled, remembering him coming by the house when Darry and Two-Bit got jailed for "disruption". Dad had a cow.

Ever since then that cop has been all over us like Steve on cake.

"Officer William D. Oliver? I just call him daddy…" Marcia said.

Two-Bit grinned. "You should have been there to see the look on his face when I showed up on his front step instead of Super Soc. I hope he's here now. I want to show him how much I love his daughter." Two-Bit said, showing us the class ring on her hand.

Two-Bit didn't get a class ring. The one he wore was his father's old one. He must have really loved her to give her the only thing to remember his father by.

"I want to show him the ring and I want to show him what I taught his little girl to do with her tongue." Two-Bit said, kissing Marcia on the lips quickly.

I sighed and smiled at them. I could feel Johnny staring at me. My cheeks turned red and I looked at the ground.

"Well I'm thinkin 'bout goin to look for good ol' Oliver Fuzz. Why don't you stay here with Pony and Johnny, Marcia?" Two-Bit said, standing up.

Before he left he kissed Marcia on the back of the neck, making her jump a little.

"I've never seen Two-Bit so…" Johnny searched for the right word.

"Affectionate." I said, grinning at him.

He poked me in the side and nodded.

Marcia shrugged and blushed a little. "When he asked me out I thought it was a joke really. But when we got to his house… My state of mind changed…" She said, deep in thought. "Well I need to go to the bathroom."

"In the lobby." I told her.

Right after she left I felt Johnny's soft lips on the side of my neck. His hands went through my bleach blond hair as he pulled my face to his.

I twisted my fingers into his, grease-less, hair as he kissed me.

I pulled away when I forgot to breath.

Johnny was also gasping for air. "Hey, Pony…"

"Yeah Johnny?" I asked red at the face. I felt like I'd just went to a track meet.

"Two more days." He said with a grin.

I smiled and kissed him, quickly, on the lips as Two-Bit came back, Oliver Fuzz at his side.

"Now why did you take my daughter to the jail house? Couldn't afford anything better?" He asked, folding his arms.

Two-Bit smiled it off and pulled a chair out for him. "Sit now, Sir. Marcia should be back in a minute."

Oliver Fuzz sat and looked at me and Johnny. "Hello there Curtis, Cade. Staying out of trouble, Curtis?"

I nodded and Johnny rolled his eyes.

Marcia came back soon after her father arrived. Right when she walked in, Two-Bit grabbed her and practically forced his tongue into her mouth, not that she was complaining.

Oliver got red at the face and knocked Johnny's coke down. "Matthews!" He yelled standing up and ripping Two-Bit off of Marcia.

Johnny and I jumped up and took a step toward Oliver and Two-Bit.

Two-Bit just grinned and put his arm around Johnny. "Now, now Oliver. Don't surprise Johnny here. You know what happened to the last guy that did…"

Johnny pulled himself away from Two-Bit and slugged him in the stomach. Right when he did he looked sorry. "I-I…Uhm…" He backed away from Two-Bit, who was doubled up in pain.

"Cade! Get back to your cell!" Oliver yelled, grinning at Two-Bit. "Two future cons with one stone." He said, snarling.

Johnny looked at the floor and walked away.

I stopped him and hugged him quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow." I whispered letting him go.

I walked back to the hospital with Two-Bit.

He complained a bit about his stomach and made me snap.

"Look, you asked for it!" I finally yelled. I was not a happy Greaser. It was raining, my brother's in the hospital, and a stupid Greaser is right beside me complaining about my boyfriend giving him what he deserved.

"Calm down there, Pony. You didn't let me finish. I wish I would have had time to tell him I'm sorry." Two-Bit said, putting his arm around me.

I let the rain hit my face as we walked. Heck, I didn't have anything to cover up with.

When we got to the hospital Sodapop and Steve were sitting with Dally in the waiting room.

"Finally. Come on." Sodapop said grabbing me.

We walked in together and I saw something I thought I never would.

Darry was being propped up by a few pillows and he was white as paper. He turned his head and looked at us. He smiled. "Pony, Soda." He choked out.

Sodapop walked over and sat at the end of his bed and rubbed his shoulder. "Look, Dar I don't think y-you're gonna be able to go back to your job… But don't ya worry. I can get another job."

Darry looked down at his blankets and started crying.

Sodapop's eyes shot to Darry. "Stop! Don't cry! This isn't it! It wasn't when Mom and Dad died and it's not now!" Soda yelled running his fingers through his hair quickly.

Darry looked over to me and motioned me over.

I walked over and put my head on his shoulder.

Darry put his other arm around Sodapop and pulled my other crying brother to his chest. "Don't worry you guys. As long as we're still together…"


	8. Weirdo Sodapop and Beaten Johnny

Stupid Feeling

Stupid Feeling

Chapter Eight

Weirdo Sodapop and Beaten Johnny

That night I went to bed alone. Sodapop stayed in the living room watching TV with Steve all night.

I couldn't get to sleep not matter what. The thought of Johnny being out on Friday kept me awake.

I grabbed a book and started reading it. I read until I saw the sun start to come up.

I pushed the covers off of me and walked over to the window. It looked real nice and I couldn't take my eyes away.

""Nothing gold can ever stay…" I heard from behind me. I turned around and saw Johnny at my door frame. It felt like my heart stopped.

"Nature's first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold." He said softly, coming closer to me.

I stared at him smiling; it made me feel all warm inside. He remembered the poem I told him.

"Her early leaf's a flower, but only so an hour." His hand touched my cheek and I rested my forehead on his, closing my eyes as I listened to his soft words. "Then leaf subsides to leaf, so Eden sank to grief. So dawn goes down to day." His voice grew softer. "Nothing gold can stay."

Just as I was about to kiss his soft lips I woke up. I sat up in my bed with the book I had on my chest and sighed.

It had only been a dream. A really good dream.

I got up and started to get ready for school. There was nothing much to do but grease my hair back and change shirts.

When I was done I walked into the living room and saw Two-Bit and Steve standing over Sodapop.

Sodapop was passed out on the couch, but he was curled into a ball with tears running down his face.

I walked over and looked down to him.

Two-Bit and Steve jumped a little. "Hey Pony." They said.

I didn't pay attention to them. "What's wrong with him?" I asked shaking him.

I'd never seen Sodapop sobbing in his sleep.

"He's fine." Steve said, yanking my arm away. "Let him sleep. He had a long night last night…"

Two-Bit took my arm and told me I'd better get ready to go.

I grabbed my bag and walked to his car.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked.

"Nothing. Now shut your trap." Two-Bit said, driving to school.

"Come on Two-Bit he's my brother and I…"

"He doesn't need you to worry about him. Shut your trap!" Two-Bit yelled, driving faster.

I shut up and glared at him.

When we got to school Two-Bit kicked me out of the car. "Go see Darry and Johnny after school and don't get on Soda's back about this." He said before driving away.

I rolled my eyes and walked into the building. I got to my locker and grabbed my track uniform; I had a meet that day so I had to practice.

"Hello Mr. Curtis." Mrs. Patterson said, leaning on the lockers beside me.

She always used her 'gifts' to get stuff from the students. That's why she only asked guy students for stuff.

"Hello Mrs. Patterson. You comin to the track meet today?" I asked, closing my locker.

"Why, of course I am, Ponyboy. I want to see you win. You're a winner just like Darrel." She said, putting her arm around me as we walked.

"Johnny said yes. He'll come talk to the school on Monday." I told her.

She squealed and hugged me. "Oh thank you Ponyboy!"

I grinned and thought about all the teachers being like this.

They were. I got to leave the class room and smoke when I wanted and everything.

When three o' clock rolled around I was in the locker room with the other runners.

"Curtis, you gonna be able to beat these guys?" Mark asked. (From _That Was Then, This is Now_)

He wasn't a runner but he hung around here and there.

"I can do it. They ain't that bad." I told him, lacing my shoes.

When we got in our places I noticed I was the last to run. I always had to be.

It felt kinda weird this time. Darry wasn't there…

Darry came to all my track meets to watch me, now he wasn't there and I'd have to walk home alone.

I heard it start and got ready. There were only two people behind me.

We were winning, as always. We had the best runners.

I took the stick from Herald, a really good runner really named George. He got the name Herald because he was the only black guy on our track team.

I ran as fast as I could and ran through the thin paper rope.

Our side of the field was cheering and the other side looked like they were going to jump us.

Before I got drug to the after party I ran inside the empty school.

I showered and changed clothes, putting my track uniform into my locker.

I tuned around and ran into Mark. Bryon was with him this time.

I already knew Bryon didn't like me so I tried to pass them.

"Hold on there Curtis. Good job out there." Mark said, putting me in a head lock.

"Thanks." I said pulling away.

"Where you off to in a hurry?" Bryon asked.

I didn't answer, but walked on.

When I got to the jail house I still had to sit and wait for Johnny.

He came over and sat down in front of me. His face was bruised up and stuff.

"Johnny, what happened to you?" I asked placing my hand on the side of his face.

"Nothing… How'd your track meet go?"

"Johnny something happened tell me." I told him.

"Nothing big happened…"

"But something did…"

"Pony-"

"Answer me Johnny." I demanded.

"What does it matter Pony? I always have bruises, why do you care about these?" He asked looking at the floor.

"I knew where they came from all the other times and I always cared about your bruises. I love you Johnny, now tell me what happened?"

Johnny sighed and looked at me. "I was in my cell and everything was going great, or as good as it could. Oliver Fuzz came and told me to go out for exercise. When I did these big guys started messing with me. They just beat me up and I didn't fight back. I wanna get out of here so bad Pony." He told me, shaking violently.

"One more day Johnnycake…" I said with a sigh. "By this time tomorrow you'll be a free man."

After that I wet to see Darry.

He was sitting up in his bed reading.

I laughed at the sight. I hadn't seen Darry reading since he was in school.

"Now what's so funny over there buddy boy?" Darry said putting his book away.

"Nothin. We won the track meet." I told him as I went over and sat on his bed.

"That's great, little buddy. Knew ya would." Darry said, messing with my hair.

I slapped his hand away and grinned. "When the doctors letting you out?" I asked.

"Sunday if everything goes good." He answered.


	9. Guardian Angel

Stupid Feeling

Stupid Feeling

Chapter Nine

Guardian Angel

That night I stayed at my house alone.

Sodapop had left a note saying he was with Steve and not to wait up for him.

I tossed the note down and sighed. I put down my bag and started my homework.

The silent house was killing me so, I turned on a tape and settled back into Darry's chair and finished my homework.

When I was done I went to the frig and found nothing to eat. Not even chocolate cake. I had nothing to eat.

I shut the door and looked in the cabinets. I did find some soup to cook up.

I ate in front of the TV and that's also where I slept.

I can't remember my dream, but I know it woke me up. My body was covered in sweat and all I could see was the glare from the TV.

In Darry's chair, Sodapop was curled up.

I looked at him and got up.

His breaths were choppy and it sounded like he was gasping for air. It was almost like he wasn't getting enough.

"Sodapop." I whispered shaking him.

He woke up and looked at me. "P-Pony." He gasped.

I felt him grab me and pull me down with him.

In Darry's chair we both slept in each others arms.

The next morning I got myself up around five in the morning and took a shower.

After that I started to make a chocolate cake. I never had to do it by myself, but I didn't want to wake Sodapop.

I think I did alright for my first time and it being like five thirty in the morning.

When I finished with that I got ready for school. By the time I was done with that Sodapop was up and getting ready for work.

"Goin' to Steve's house tonight. You and Johnny gonna be alright here?" He asked zipping his pants.

"Yeah." I answered. "Why're you out so much now?" I asked with my back to him.

"Cause I'm tryin to find work so you don't go hungry. Darry done sent those papers and got them approved so I want you to clean that room out for Johnny after school." Sodapop said, putting his hat on.

"Soda why can't I help? I can get a job. I'm almost fifteen." I asked looking to him, only to fin his back to me.

"Cause Pony I don't want ya too. You need to stay in school during the day and study at night." Sodapop answered.

"You soundin just like Darry." I told him through my teeth.

"Yeah well someone has too. Now go to my old room and get the boxes out, you got the time." Sodapop said looking back to me.

I sighed and tossed my bag down on the couch.

In Sodapop's old room was a lot of boxes, a queen sized bed, a night stand, and a dresser.

The boxes were empty so they were real easy to fold up and put in the closet.

There was dust all over everything. I took the blankets and sheets off the bed. I put them in the washer and got my bag.

Sodapop had already left for work so I waited for Two-Bit by myself.

When he drove up he pushed the door opened for me. "You really gonna go to school today, kid?" He asked when I got in.

"Yeah. I got to, Darry'd have a heart attack if I didn't." I told him, propping my feet up on the dash.

"Okay, but Johnny's getting out at seven so, you'll have to wait to see him." Two-Bit said, driving toward the school.

"I know." I replied looking out the window.

School was never so long. I sat in a daze for three periods. After that was lunch hour and it was well past seven. I knew Two-Bit might not come today so I walked around the parking lot, visiting people and smoking.

I found Marcia with some of her Soc friends so I just looked at her.

We met eyes and she smiled at me. Her friends watched her break away from the group and walk over to me.

Two big guys followed her and pushed me into a car.

"Hey buddy aren't you one of the greasers that killed Bob?" one said, giving me a good look over.

"He is." The other said, spitting on me.

"Back off George!" Marcia said, pushing him.

"Go back over there Marcia baby." George said, grinning at her.

"I'm not your baby! My boyfriend is a Greaser too!" She yelled.

Before I could do anything the guy slapped Marcia. "I said get over there."

"You stop that!" I yelled just to be punched in the face. I stumbled back and fell onto the ground.

The other guy flipped out a switch blade and grinned at me.

I felt around for a broken bottle or something. When I found one I felt it being snatched from my hand.

When I looked up I saw someone in front of me with a hood on. There was another guy too but he had his back to me. I could tell he was a Greaser tho.

The guy without a hood punched George and knocked him out in one blow as the guy with the hood took care of the other guy.

"Stupid Ape faces…" I hear from the guy without a hood.

"Two-Bit?" I asked, trying to stand up.

"You okay Ponyboy?" He asked helping me up.

"Yeah, who's that?" I asked looking at the guy with the hood.

The guy turned to me and pulled the hood down.

"Johnny!" I yelled running over to him.

He dropped the bottle and hugged me. "Sorry I didn't get here sooner." He whispered.

"You got here just in time." I told him.


	10. Untitled

Stupid Feeling

Stupid Feeling

Chapter Ten

Untitled

After lunch I had to go back to class. Two-Bit tried to talk me out of it, but I knew I had to.

The next three periods were horrible. My stomach twisted and I got so much homework it was unreal.

On my way home I almost stopped by the jail, but remembered not to.

When I got home I tossed my stuff down and plopped down on the couch, closing my eyes tightly.

I felt someone sit down beside me.

"You okay?" Johnny asked.

I opened my eyes and nodded. "Just got a lot of homework to do."

Johnny looked over to the wall and nodded. "Sounds like fun."

"Tons."

"What's the homework in?" He asked.

I smiled. Johnny had his good classes and his bad classes, but maybe these would be in his good classes. "Math, History, and Science."

"Okay… I can do History and Science. But, Math wasn't one of my best…" He admitted as I got my books out.

"Oh well. I'll see if Darry can help me with it when I go visit him today." I told him.

Johnny nodded and took my Science book. "What chapter?"

"Fifteen." I told him, grabbing some paper.

"Energy? Are you having problems with _energy_?" Johnny asked.

I blushed and pushed him. "Leave me alone!" I said.

Johnny laughed and started to read.

I watched him read it over twice, but I didn't say anything. I knew Johnny had to look at something a couple of times before he understood it.

"What do you need to know?" He asked looking back over to me.

"I need to know how you keep from being electrocuted and how you can stop someone from it." I told him.

"Well first off, don't grab eclectic poles and don't hold up a metal pole during a lightning storm."

"Come on. Be serious." I told him.

"I was. Okay, okay, don't pit your hand on anything electrical. And if someone's being electrocuted they wouldn't be able to pull their hand away so you have to run at them and knock them off. Don't just grab them cause then you'd get electrocuted." Johnny told me, closing the book and tossing it aside.

We did history after that and he had to explain the Chinese to me. Johnny was a good enough teacher for me.

"Maybe I should just drop out and you could teach me." I told Johnny as we walked to the hospital.

"No man, you gotta stay in school. You'll be the only one of us that'll get through high school, maybe even college." Johnny explained.

I shrugged, "Two-Bit might…"

"He can't. He's almost nineteen and still in the tenth grade. There's no way. I think he's only staying one more year."

"How come?" I asked.

Johnny shrugged. "I don't know. I do know that the only reason he's staying next year is to help you out."

I nodded and we reached the entrance to the hospital. I looked over to Johnny.

He had my book and folder under his arm. He opened the door and let me through first.

When we got to Darry's room there were nurses running in and out.

I caught one of them. "What's goin on?" I asked.

"Darrel Curtis has gone into temporary shock." She told me before walking away with the others.

I looked over to Johnny and he took my hand. "Come on." He said leading me over to the waiting room.

We sat there for about thirty minutes then they let us see him.

"Only for a few minutes. He can't talk very well so…"

"We get it." I told the doctor.

We walked into the room, hand in hand.

When I saw Darry I squeezed Johnny's hand and put on a fake smile.

"You okay, Dar?" I said looking at him.

"I-I" He gasped painfully.

"Hush up now, ya hear?" I said, holding the tears back.

"I-I lo.. lo.."

"Shut it Darry. You're hurting yourself." I told him, letting the tears spill over.

Johnny squeezed my hand again.

Darry reached up and pushed some of my hair out of my face.

"Po-Pony…" He said quietly as he ran his hand down my cheek.

I covered his hand with mine as I took my other hand away from Johnny and ran it through his grease-less hair. I looked into his eyes and saw them watering just like mine.

"Darry…" I whispered, lowering myself to the bed.

"I-I love y-you…" He got out.

"I love you too, now you gotta stop talkin…" I told him as I helped him sit up.

Johnny leaned against the door way and watched us.

"Looks like you'll be here a little longer now." I said more than asked.

"A-a week…" He gasped in pain.

"Now boy's… Let's give Darrel some time to rest." The doctor said from the door way.

When we got to the road I couldn't remember how I got there.

Johnny was holding my hand and leading me back to the house.

When we got outside the house I tossed my arms around Johnny's small waist and hugged him.

I felt him put his arm (His other had my book) around me and I buried my head into his neck.

"Darry'll be okay Pony." He said, stroking my hair.

"I know." I sobbed, grabbing a fist full of his shirt.

Johnny kissed the top of my head and rubbed my shoulders.

I tried to slow my breathing down as we went inside. "I gotta clean your room out." I told him.

Johnny nodded, "I'll help you." He said, putting my math book down on the table.

It didn't take long to have the room all nice and cleaned up. It was a really nice room.

Johnny sat down on the bed and looked around at all the space. He'd never gotten a space all to himself. "Pony… you guess don't have to really take me in. I can stay at the lot or in the living room." He told me, biting his bottom lip.

"No Johnny, you're staying here." I told him, sitting beside him and putting my arm around his waist. "You can't leave me again…"

He blushed and put his arm around my shoulders. "I won't…"

I put my head on his shoulder and pulled him closer to me.

An hour later I was under the covers with Johnny, staring up at the fan.

"You okay Pony?" He asked, sitting up.

I turned away from him and let out a breath. "Yeah…" I whispered.

"I didn't mean to hurt you…" He told me, putting his hand on my arm.

"I asked for it."

"Well… Yeah, but…"

"Ponyboy! Johnny! Where are you guys?!" We heard from the living room.

I sat up and looked at Johnny.

He jumped up and pulled his boxers then his pants. He glanced over to me before he walked out of the room.

I sighed and winced as I got up to get dressed.

When I went out to the living room I saw Johnny talking to Dally and Two-Bit.

"Hey" I said as I sat down in Darry's chair.

The phone rang just as I sat down.

"Hello." I answered.

"Ponyboy Curtis?"

"That's me."

"Mr. Curtis you're brother Sodapop Curtis is in the hospital. You need to get here as soon as possible."

"What do you mean? What happened?!"

"He was found, gagged and stabbed. That's all I know."

I hung up and ran outside. I knew they were all following me.

"PONY! WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Dally asked.

I didn't answer him. I don't even think I could answer him at the time.


	11. Sodapop For Sale

Stupid Feeling

**Stupid Feeling **

**Chapter eleven **

**Sodapop For Sale **

**When I got to the hospital I ran into some guy, knocking him down. **

"**Sorry…" I muttered, looking down to him. "Randy?" I asked. **

"**Curtis?" Randy asked looking up to me. **

**I nodded and helped him up. "Why…" **

"**Cherry and I are the ones that found your brother." He told me. **

**Then I remembered…**

**Marcia… Randy… Cherry… Bob… Marcia… Marcia… Marcia! **

**I slugged him as hard as I could. "What's wrong with you?!" I asked.**

**He fell against the wall, "I should be asking **_**you**_** that question." **

"**You were two-timing Marcia." I told him, like he didn't know. **

"**Look Pony, you don't understand…" **

**I rolled my eyes. "Forget it…" I didn't have time to hang around him, my brother had just been stabbed. **

**I ran over to the lady at the desk. **

**She looked up to me and sighed. "Yes?" **

"**Sodapop Curtis?" I asked. **

**She jotted down his room number and practically tossed it at me.**

"**Thanks for your compassion…" I muttered. **

**I felt a hand on my arm. **

"**Come on." Johnny whispered into my ear. **

**I followed him down the hall to Sodapop's room. It was right across the hall from Darry's room. **

**Dally and Two-Bit went to Darry's room as Johnny and I went to Sodapop's. **

**Sodapop was sitting up in bed talking to Steve. **

**They both looked at us and Sodapop looked away quickly. **

"**What happened?" I asked walking to him. **

"**Ponyboy, I'm sorry." He whispered, taking my hand into his. **

"**Oh come on Soda, it ain't your fault." I told him, with a smile. **

**Sodapop shook his head and I watched a tear slide to his chin.**

"**Sodapop…" I said, taking my hand away. **

"**I'm sorry." He repeated.**

"**Why?" I asked backing away from him. **

"**I've been doing stuff… I know I shouldn't." He answered. "I've been… sailing myself." **

**I didn't know what to say. I looked at Johnny, who just stood there. He looked like he already knew. Steve did the same. I was the only one that didn't know. **

"**Y-You all knew." I said backing away from them. **

"**Look Pony. We had to help him. Everyone knew and we didn't want you all worried." Johnny explained. He went to rub my arm, but I pushed him away. **

"**No. I- DOES DARRY KNOW?!" I yelled, pushing myself against the door. **

"**Yes." Steve said. "Now get back over here." **

"**No. What did Darry say?" I asked. **

**Steve rolled his eyes and sat down. **

**Johnny looked away from me and was shaking real bad.**

**I was sorry for pushing him, but at the time I didn't say so. I looked around at them and stormed out of the room. I then walked to Darry's room and shut the door quietly. **

**Darry looked at me and smiled. "Hey there Pony." **

"**You knew and so did everyone else. You all knew." I whispered. I didn't want to yell at Darry for something Sodapop did. **

"**Ponyboy." Darry said, trying to get up. He was still weak. **

"**Get back in bed Darry." I told him. **

**He didn't listen. He struggled to stand and I couldn't watch any longer. I turned around and sighed. I could hear him gasping in pain as he stood. **

**I soon felt him wrap his arms around me weakly. **

"**Let Sodapop off easy, okay? He did it for you." Darry whispered, still breathing hard. **

**I nodded and sighed again, pressing my head against the wall. I could feel Darry slightly, leaning on me. "You need to lie down." I told him. **

**He shook his head. "No. Take me to Sodapop's room." He demanded, grabbing his IV. **

**I nodded and took his other arm. **

**He put it on my shoulder and I took him to the other room. **

**Everyone was still standing, or sitting, in the same place. **

**Johnny looked at me, still hurt. **

**I let Steve come and help Darry as I walked over to Johnny. I put my hand on his shoulder and whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry…" **

**He nodded and put his arms around my waist. **

**Darry was sitting on Sodapop's bed, smiling. "When I get out… Everything will be better you guys. You'll all see." **

**JPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJPJP**

**The next morning I woke up beside Sodapop for the first time in a few days. Or was it weeks? I couldn't remember. **

**I got up and went to the bathroom. I walked in on Johnny getting dressed. **

**He didn't seem to care. He just pulled on his jeans and smiled at me. "Morning." **

"**Morning." I said, washing my face. I looked at him through the mirror. "What ya doin up so early?" **

**He shrugged. "I don't know. Just woke up." **

**I nodded and pressed the warm rag against my face. I let my head rest on the cold glass. Then I felt Johnny's arms around me and him rubbing my chest. **

"**You okay?" He asked. **

**I nodded and let go off the rag. I looked at his reflection in the mirror. "It's just Darry and Sodapop. I can't believe they let Sodapop out so soon." I said, cursing the doctor in my head. **

"**Aren't you happy he's back and normal?" Johnny asked. **

"**Yeah… But what if he wasn't ready to come home?" I asked. **

**Johnny shrugged and let me go. **

**I could feel the cold air on my bare back. **

"**Come on. We can start breakfast. Everyone'll bee here soon." Johnny said walking out of the bathroom. **

**I groaned and took my head off the glass. **

**I missed his presents already… **


	12. The End

Stupid Feeling

Stupid Feeling

Chapter Twelve

**The End**

That night Sodapop came home and hung out with us.

I let myself forgive him and enjoy having him around.

Sodapop, Johnny, Steve, and I watched TV till we were all tired.

Johnny and Steve slept in the living room, Steve on the floor and Johnny on the couch.

The next day was Monday, Johnny's day to speak to the school.

As we went to bed I kissed Johnny and hugged him.

"You gonna be okay tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yeah." He answered, going to lay down.

I went to bed feeling cold. Even with Sodapop's arm around me I was cold. I wanted Johnny. Only Johnny. I tried laying there and looking at the wall. Then I tried to just keep my eyes shut. Nothing got me to sleep. I was really sleepy and I had school the next day. I pushed Sodapop's arm off of me and walked into the living room. Johnny had his back to me I curled up on the couch behind him. I was pressed against him, but I didn't mind. Suddenly Johnny sat up and looked at me.

"Oh, it's you. Pony, ya scared me." He said turning over to face me.

"Sorry. I couldn't sleep." I told him, resting my head on his chest. Johnny put his arm around me and pulled me closer. I was warm for the first time that night. I felt my self drifting to sleep. The next thing I knew, someone was shaking me roughly.

"Hey. Get up." I heard. I sat up and looked at Dally. He loved waking up anyone that was sleeping on the couch. I rubbed my neck. I slept in an odd position that night. Dally sat down beside me and opened a beer. I got up and took a shower. I washed and dressed. Johnny was ready to go when I came out of the bathroom. We went on our way. Johnny had to stay with me till 6th period, when he had to talk to the school. I walked with him to the gym. I sat in the front with Two-Bit. The place was packed within ten minutes. There was talking and paper ball throwing. Finally Mr. Kelly, the12th grade literature teacher calmed everyone down. Johnny walked over to the microphone and looked out at everyone.

"Uhm… As everyone here should know, I'm Johnny Cade and I'm here to talk about manslaughter. Well I grew up in a bad home. I don't really want to go into detail about that. To give you an example I don't know how to read because my parents never thought to teach me. I have a few good friends, they're like family. I'm a Greaser, too. Not really the top of the social chain 'round here. I'm sixteen going on seventeen. I live wherever I want to live. Now to why I'm here... I killed Robert Sheldon not too long ago. He was drunk and… he was killing my friend. I stabbed him. Ya know what, I regretted it right when I did it." Johnny said, looking out at everyone. No one made a sound. Everyone just sat there. Finally someone raised their hand. "Yeah?" Johnny asked.

"So, do you have like a normal life?" they asked. Johnny shrugged.

"My life is as normal as it can get. I mean I go out and have fun sometimes." Johnny answered. Soon almost everyone there had a question for ol Johnny.

"How's your love life?" One asked. I turned red and slid down in my seat. Johnny grinned down too me. Two-Bit chuckled a bit.

"I think it's good." Johnny answered, blushing a little.

"Who's your girl?" Johnny paused.

"Well… I don't have a girl… I'm… gay…" he told them. The got weird looks from teachers and students. He backed away when someone threw a binder at him.

"Fag!" Someone yelled.

The color drained from his face as people throw stuff at him.

I was about to punch the guy behind me who was yelling, "Get em!"

Two-Bit jumped onto the stage and went to the microphone, almost getting hit in the head by a science book. "Hey!" he yelled with the anger rising in his body. "Hey! Bastards, don't you throw stuff at him! He went through enough all ready. He came here to talk to you. He didn't have to do that." Two-Bit yelled.

Johnny was picking up the binders and paper. He was acting like he did something wrong.

I couldn't take it. I jumped up on the stage and took the papers from him. I turned around and tossed them back, making sure to hit a few people.

"Johnny, I'm sorry." I put my hands on his shoulders and rubbed them slightly.

"For what Ponyboy? You didn't do nothin. I shouldn't have said anything." He whispered. Johnny was shaking so bad, I didn't know what to do.

I was really mad, but I didn't want to show it around Johnny.

He'd think I was mad at him, because he thought he did something wrong. My blood was boiling as I watched Two-Bit yelling at the students. Then Mr. Kelly came over to Two-Bit and tried to pull him off stage. Then, when some student thought it was safe, someone tossed a large binder and it hit me in the back of the head. Two-Bit struggled to get away from the teacher. The teacher still had one arm and Two-Bit stopped for a minute. Two-Bit looked at the man and slugged him in the face.

**The End (Again) **


End file.
